Six Thinking Hats by Edward de Bono

An innovative way to seek solutions, tackle conflict and progress through meetings in the most efficient manner. The Six Thinking Hats technique is very easy to learn and is widely recognized across various sectors and countries.

Do you know where your salary is going?

About a year ago, when my partner and I decided to live together we decided to have a common bank account whereby each month we put the same equal amount of money so that we can use them to pay the rent, utility bills and living expenses.

Being our first experience of living away from our parents we estimated that we would need to fork out EUR300 each for living expenses and utility bills! This ofcourse excluded the paying of the rent and our personal expenses such as mobile phones, fuel, going out, etc.

It was a lot of money going down the drain! We couldn't see where the EUR600 were going in less than a month. I was always with zero cents in my bank account because it was impossible to pass by with the budget. I confided with a colleague and friend of mine about this financial issue and even she found the budget to be excessive and was surprised how we could not live by. 

I was really bothered with this and it was time for me to re-think our spending habits. I decided to dedicate a whole month to be fully conscious of what I was buying...then it started to get pretty obvious. Whenever we put another EUR300 each in the bank account, we would immediately go to the supermarket and stock up as much as possible thinking that the food would serve us for a whole month. I realised that it wouldn't last for even 2 weeks! We were comfortable nibbling and throwing extra food which we could have saved for another meal. We would buy perishable goods which would unfortunately expire before we consume them. 

We also used to love eating out, and we still do...but I was realising that a minimum of EUR50 dinner everytime we eat out at an average restaurant would have allowed me to buy groceries and food for another three to five days. Buying lunch from the nearby coffee shop everyday was costing me about EUR80 a month. All this was adding up and no wonder that my salary was not sufficient.  

So these spending habits had to be managed without resorting to austerity and convert these habits into new benign ones which would allow me to save up for vacation, a new laptop or a future want.

We put more effort with dining home by cooking delicious meals. I cooked that bit extra food in order to take it with me for lunch. I avoided supermarkets as much as possible as they tempt you to buy stuff which you don't need so I started to buy my groceries and food from the local shops and budget the shopping to serve me for three days rather than a whole month. Everytime I have small change under EUR1.00 I would save them up in a jar in order to use them once the jar is full.

It didn't take much effort to make this change. It was more a change of consciousness from buying things just because you 'think' you 'need' it to actually knowing what you want to buy.

Nowadays our budget for living expenses is EUR200 each and we always have some money left which allows us to celebrate another month at a nice restaurant :)

Enliven your Senses - Enjoy Life!

Parents urged to support their gay children

by Elaine Attard

http://www.independent.com.mt/news.asp?newsitemid=109224

 

The Drachma parents’ support group yesterday urged fellow parents of gay people to show solidarity with their sons and daughters instead of driving their children to suicide.

Spokesmen for the Drachma group spoke to The Malta Independent on Sunday at the Gay Pride march in Valletta yesterday.

Gay people suffer a great deal, especially because they fear that their family will reject them, explained one parent. “We encourage other parents of gay people to love their children with great compassion and not throw them out of their home. When a gay person decides to ‘come out of the closet’ it is an opportunity for the family to unite and show that love is overpowering. Gay people do not need their parents’ sympathy, they need support to stand up for their rights.”

“We are committed to encourage… LGBT people and their families in an effort to create more awareness of the difficulties faced because of the stigma society unfortunately attaches to those with a different sexual orientation,” states the group’s website. The parents’ group was established in April 2008 and welcomes any parents who need its help.

Although the Drachma parents’ support group is a Christian organisation, its members believe that the Church’s stand on matters relating to their children’s sexuality creates a need for them to come together and decide their own response, as parents of LGBT children. “We believe that there may be an opportunity for the Church to grow in this area also and we are perhaps in the best position to offer our discerned reflections and act as intermediaries with the local ecclesiastical authorities, to ensure that LGBT people feel embraced by the Church,” says the website.

The Gay Pride march, which was attended by around 150 people, was organised by the Malta Gay Rights Movement. It was characterised by gay people and their friends holding bunches of colourful balloons and blowing noisy whistles. Some held placards with slogans such as “I really shouldn’t need to be here”, “Attitudes are the real disability”, “God is an equal opportunities lover”. One particularly large banner proclaimed “Civil rights? = Gay Rights!”. The march went from City Gate, along Republic Street, St John’s Street, Merchants Street and South Street. A small stage was erected in front of the Social Policy Ministry and statements were read out by various political parties and NGO spokesmen.

Representatives from the political parties attended. David Agius and Karl Gouder represented the Nationalist Party, Owen Bonnici and Evarist Bartolo represented the Labour Party while Alternattiva Demokratika chairman Michael Briguglio and Yvonne Ebejer Arqueros represented the Green Party. German MEP Holger Krahmer, who is a member of the Alliance of the Liberals and Democrats for Europe (ALDE), also took part.

Mr Krahmer said in a short speech that the rights of LGBT people were important for him and for society. He pointed out that homosexual people should be treated the same as straight people and should also have the right to be married.

He said he look forward to the day when homosexuality is regarded as normal and wondered when homosexual couples would be seen as responsible and trusted and with equal rights to a traditional marriage.

“Discrimination and rejection of other individual lifestyles starts in the heads of people and cannot simply be overcome by some anti-discrimination law. Tolerance and the ability for open discussion are necessary to abandon prejudices. Play your part and live in tolerance,” he continued.

Meanwhile, this year’s Gay Pride march marks a number of achievements for the local LGBT community. MGRM are celebrating the Social Policy Ministry’s announcement that the remits of the National Commission for the Promotion of Equality will be extended to cater for sexual orientation discrimination. Earlier on this year, MGRM hosted the ILGA-Europe conference, which saw some 400 international delegates discussing LGBT issues in Malta. Discussions on same-sex partnerships have been initiated, even though there are as yet no concrete solutions to the various points of view regarding same-sex partnerships and cohabitation legislation.

PL spokesman Owen Bonnici reiterated that the acknowledgment of civil partnerships is the first step towards other civil rights. With everybody cooperating, Malta should enjoy the same civil rights as in the rest of Europe, he said.

PN whip David Agius, was booed by the crowd when he spoke about the cohabitation law that will be discussed in Parliament soon. He pointed out that discrimination is unacceptable at any level and that the PN is committed to ensuring that everyone enjoys the same opportunities.

Green parties are the most ardent supporters of LGBT NGOs, said AD chairman Michael Briguglio. “In Malta, even though homosexuality was decriminalised in the 1970s and discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation at work was made illegal following Malta’s EU accession, people with an LGBT identity are being discriminated against in various other areas, most notably when it comes to family policy. The LGBT community can rest assured of AD’s support. Unlike other political parties, we do not say one thing to one audience and another thing to another audience,” he said.

Rediscovering Positive Values in Eclipse - The Twilight Saga

This weekend I watched the Twilight Saga - Eclipse of which I am quite a fan. I honestly say that this tops the three which have been featured on the big screens so far. It was a complete emotional rollercoaster for me.

What stood out however is the reclaiming of positive values. Such as looking beyong each Tribe's differences to fight a common evil, the rediscovering of traditional values - loosing once virginity after you have committed your complete love and self-sacrfice to save your loved ones.

Very much needed movie in turbulent times I must say.

Go Team Edward :)

Recommended Reading

This is what I am reading right now. Very interesting read yet sometimes may be too abstract to understand.

It does however bring out a very important point - leave the past to its past and don't think too much on the future. We only have NOW and we need to be conscious of every second of the NOW in order to achieve a higher level of consciousness.

Punctuality is key to gain respect

To be punctual for appointments, dates and meetings seems to be quite a challenge for most people and it seems they are helpless about it and discouraged from ever changing such habit. Being late every now and then is OK, but such habit on a daily basis may build up unnecessary stress and tension with your loved ones, in your business and friends.

These are some of my personal tips which help me be always on the dot.

• Start preparing for your appointment 2 hours in advance. If you start work at 9am, I would recommend to wake up at 7am. It takes a good 7 - 15 minutes to convince yourself that you need to get your ass out of the bed. You will have 45 minutes hassle-free breakfast-shower-tooth brushing-dressing up. In Malta, driving to work could take between 20 - 45 minutes+ especially if it is rush hour. Prepare for work a couple of hours before helps you get to work without extra stress and with a clear mind of what you need to do

• Another technique which could work for some but not for others is to forward all your clocks and watches by 15 minutes.

• I recommend my compulsively late clients to write all their meetings, chores and to-do's the night before on paper or on their diary (if you do not have one, then it's about time). They find this suggestion to help them a lot.

• Prioritise, Compromise and Prioritise. If you have a lot to do and back-to-back meetings to attend in a single day, take 2 minutes of your time to reflect which chores and commitments take top importance. If your driving lesson finishes at 12.00 and you have a job interview at 12.15, you can always postpone your driving lesson to another date or time. It's very improbable that you will finish at exactly 12.00! You don't want to risk starting on the wrong foot with your new employer.

• If you're stuck in traffic and there's a big chance that you'll be late, it is good practice to call whoever is waiting for you to inform them the reason of your delay. This would avoid any misunderstandings or disappointments.

Recommended Reading

One of those few books which definitely had a great effect on me. It talks about how we can overcome very difficult life situations by integrating 9 main principles in our lives.

Transforming your 'I want' into 'I have'

  We dream of a successful life and we work hard to achieve that state, yet we are often deluded by the obstacles that come across our path towards success. Life brings with it new challenges with each phase of our lives. 

It is how we deal with those challenges that makes the difference. Our experiences of the past may have given us conscious or unconscious negative messages that fed into our low self-esteem and lack of confidence; with phrases such as "you are not capable", "it is not worth trying" or "you will never be recognised for what you truly are".  As a result, we make a choice to stick to the status quo, remain in our comfort zone and forget our aspirations of ever achieving our goals in life.

Thank goodness we have the knowledge that we have the inner strength to beat our worst enemy - fear! Fear keeps us away from experiencing new horizons, new insights and new fulfillments which lead us towards the path of success. We do not have the power like that of a video game to 'restart' our adventure but we do have the ability to direct our own future. 

Whatever success means to you, I can help you gain the confidence, will and motivation to achieve it! Life coaching is all about that - being your detached and objective partner in life and coaching you step by step, goal by goal to achieve your ultimate aim in life.

I thank you for taking the time to visit my website and I welcome you to browse through the pages to know more about coaching and my practice. Feel free to contact me for any queries and suggestions or to know more of the services that I offer. I'd be happy to offer you a FREE 30-minute introductory coaching session.

Yours Truly

Clayton Mercieca

Creative-Life Coach