There are no hard and fast rules to be a positive person. Some might say that people are 'born optimistic while others tend to be more naturally pessimistic'. I don't quite agree with such a statement. David Kreuger MD, a mentor coach has taught me a very simple yet highly important formula which once applied, can change your perspective completely. It goes something like this:
Belief drives Behaviour...Behaviour drives performance
So if your performance in life, at work, friendships, romance leaves much to be desired, look carefully and actively at your behaviour and how your behaviour is interacting with these spheres in your life. Once such behaviour is identified turn onto your beliefs and value systems. What internal messages and philosophies are driving your behaviour?
I personally found the following actions to feed into my belief which in turn feed into my behaviour and ultimately into a satisfying and successful performance:
Wake-up everyday with the conscious conviction that your day will bring about new experiences and new encounters no matter how small or insignificant they may appear to be.
Combat internal messages that convey negative thoughts. If your usual internal talk when you wake up is "Oh Gosh! Another hideous day at the office", replace it with "I feel thankful for being able to wake-up and live another day". Even if it feels artificial to say it at first, make it a habit..this utimately becomes integrated into your beleif system.
Smile genuinely as you greet people. This will make them smile back at you and gives you a good feeling.
Complement people often if you honestly think they have something worth praising. Don't complement people just for the sake of licking their backside. People will realise when you are genuine or fake.
Whatever challenge you may encounter, appreciate the fact that once you have overcome the challenge you would have evolved into a stronger, wiser, more knowledgeable you.
Diminish past memories which are sour and bitter and enforce those which are positive and joyful. You can do this by closing your eyes for a few moments, concentrate on your breathing and picture in your mind those thoughts which have left a negative or undesired effect on you. Use your hands to push these images into the distance until these memories are just a dot in the distance. On the other hand think of the happy thought and make the mental image of these memories brighter, more vivid and closer to you so that you are filled with positive thoughts.
It may sound airy-fairy to most people but I personally and strongly believe that all change, no matter how bad it may appear during the present moment, is ultimately for the better. This gives me a sense of good feeling and positive outlook towards life. So keep these simple points in mind and apply them daily. You will be amazed at how things will take a fold into your advantage.
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